


Sublimation

by teuriina



Category: Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Drama, Existential Crises, F/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Side Sanada Genichiro X Female Yukimura Seiichi, Side Tezuka Kunimitsu X Female Fuji Syusuke, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2019-03-19 10:42:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13702821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teuriina/pseuds/teuriina
Summary: When you are addicted to a certain kind of pain, how do you heal yourself? | RyoSaku Adult AU. Female Yukimura and Fuji Syusuke. Mentions mental health illnesses. Contains lemon and yaoi. Reposted.





	Sublimation

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The fanfiction author owns nothing.
> 
> This story is originally published on November 21, 2015.

**WARNING:**  
Yes, this story is undoubtedly a love story, at least in its exteriors.  
But more than anything else, this is a story about hurting, suffering…and most of all, learning.

* * *

 

 **sub·li·ma·tion**  \ˌsə-blə-ˈmā-shən\  
noun  
_psychology_  : a defense mechanism by redirecting unacceptable thoughts or emotions into 'higher' and ideally more constructive channels

* * *

 

Ryoma exhaled as pleasure tenderized his limbs from bottom to top, finally releasing his frustration. His frustration that had always been misread as complete glee by almost every person who looks at him from their eyes and not from his.

The man pulled away as he was not expecting Ryoma to come in his mouth, "Sorry," he said in English while catching his breath.

"C'est parfait," the man tried to murmur while carefully licking off white liquid from the tip of Ryoma's erection. "Are you ready?" he asked in his French accent, "I'm going in."

"Yeah," Ryoma nonchalantly replied while looking at the ceiling of his hotel room. Their phase gradually turned to gyration and the echoes of their moans filled the room. Ryoma knew he had not felt that good in ages. The French guy was good, really good, he calculated in his mind. But as his body felt so much inclination, his mind was calling for a different kind of wanting, the burden felt literally painful on his chest, and a teardrop shyly rolled from one eye.

Ryoma laid naked on his bed, with a famished look on his face while staring outside the window. The French guy was still there, getting dressed and was saying something energetically to Ryoma in English, but Ryoma could not make out what the other was saying and he could not care less. "Huh?" Ryoma was startled.

"I said I'm going now," the French announced.

"Sure," Ryoma answered, not looking back.

"We should see each other again."

"Sure."

"Bye," the guy bade, a hopeful imaginative tone in his voice.

"Sure," and Ryoma heard the door shut.

Who was that? Ryoma asked himself. He could not even remember if they gave their names to each other, what more with how and where they met. All he knew was that it was the French Open again, and his manager or secretary or agent had also once again filled his inbox with reminders.

What was he doing? These were the kind of questions Echizen Ryoma asked himself every morning after waking up. Did he really wanted all of what he is right now? Did he really have a say to what is happening to him right now? Did he have a choice?

Tennis was fun. But it was not everything. But outside of tennis, was there anything else waiting for him?

Ryoma laid naked on his bed, hugging his pillow, trying very hard to remember the warmth he once had in his arms but had let go of.

He used to be confused of what warmth he was trying to find the compensation for. But all along, the replacement that he was using, turned out to be the essence that he was seeking. That, he realized when he had nothing left, not even a replacement.

**_"… You are irredeemably alone. You will not be understood. … There is something wrong with you."  
― The Darkest Truth About Love, The School of Life_ **

 

**Author's Note:**

> Reference/s:  
> Definition of Sublimation taken from The Book of Life's article on Anna Freud
> 
> This story has a [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/user/ri.ie.er/playlist/06CJyuFsEeyu9LyO1ACKIk?si=9b0YyHbSTMGWoAKLInwU3Q) playlist.


End file.
